Recognizing and Avoiding Sexual Pressure
Sexual pressure or coercion happens when someone tries to get you to do sexual things you’re not comfortable with by wearing you down emotionally or socially. This can include repeated requests or bargaining after you’ve said no, guilt-tripping you (“How can you do this to me?”), or threatening to end the relationship if you refuse[1][2].
It might also look like flattery and sweet words that suddenly turn into manipulation or blamewhen you hesitate[3][2]. For example, a partner might say, “You’ve already been doing X with me, don’t stop now,” or “Couples have to have sex,” to make you feel obligated[3][4]. Remember: your consent must be freely given. Pressuring or forcing someone into anything sexual means no real consent[5][2]. You never owe anyone sex – it’s your body and your decision[6]. If you feel anxious, confused, or afraid during any encounter – these are warning signs that someone is not respecting your boundaries.

Red Flags in Potential Partners
Red flags are warning signs a partner might not respect you or your boundaries. A controlling partner may try to dominate your time and choices[7]. For example, they might demand to know where you are all the time, get angry if you spend time with friends or family, or insist that they know better than you about everything. They may blame you for things that aren’t your fault or dismiss your feelings (“You’re too sensitive”)[7][2]. Pay attention if someone pressures you to keep secrets, reads your texts without permission, or makes you feel you “owe” them affection. Another red flag is isolation: if a partner tries to cut you off from friends, family or activities you enjoy, that’s a serious warning[8][9]. In a healthy relationship, both people keep their own friends and interests. Finally, notice if your partner reacts poorly to your “no” – by sulking, guilt-tripping, or threatening (for example, saying “If you don’t do this, I’ll break up with you”)[3][2]. Trust your feelings: if you feel pressured, afraid, or like something is “off,” those feelings are a signal that you may be facing an unhealthy or dangerous partner.
How to Say No Safely

It can feel hard to say no, especially to someone you care about, but you have every right to set limits. Use clear, firm words: a simple “No, I’m not comfortable with that” is enough. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. It can help to practice in advance what you might say. You might even use a “broken record” technique (repeating your no calmly) or a simple excuse to leave the situation: for example, “I have to go now” or “I’m not feeling well”[10]. Another strategy is to have a pre-arranged “safe person” – a trusted friend, family member, or adult – whom you can call or text for help if you feel unsafe[11]. Teens sometimes use a code word with a friend or parent that signals they want to leave. Planning these steps in advance gives you an easy out when things get uncomfortable. Remember: consent means saying yes without pressure[5], so a respectful partner will understand and accept your boundaries. If someone refuses to respect your no, you do not have to stay – it’s okay to walk away, find a safe place, or even call emergency services if you feel in danger[12].
In any relationship, be aware of power imbalances. These occur when one person has more authority, money, age, popularity, or control than the other. Research notes that when one partner is much older, wealthier, or higher-status, the younger or less-powerful partner may feel they cannot freely say no[13][14]. For example, an older boyfriend or girlfriend, a teacher-student situation, or an employer-employee relationship can be risky. In teen dating, power might come from popularity on social media or among peers[14]. Signs of imbalance include someone who acts entitled to your time or body, or who insists their needs always come first. They might pressure you by reminding you of what they’ve “done” for you or by making you feel you must earn their approval. If you ever feel like you have to do something to please them, that’s a big red flag. Also watch for early isolation or excessive control – for instance, if a partner tries to keep you away from family or calls you constantly when you’re out[8]. No matter the situation, you always have the right to make choices about your own body. If someone’s power over you is making it hard to set boundaries, talk to someone you trust outside that relationship – like a counselor, mentor, or helpline – about what’s happening[15][8].
Recognising Power Imbalances
How to Seek Help
If you ever feel unsafe, coerced, or unsure, reach out – you do not have to handle it alone. Talk to a trusted adult (a parent, teacher, coach, or counselor) or a close friend. If cultural or family pressures make this hard, consider finding support elsewhere: for example, a school nurse, a doctor, or a family friend. Many teens find comfort in confidential resources: organizations like the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) and Love Is Respect offer free, 24/7 confidential support for survivors and teens[16][17].

You can call their hotlines or chat online without giving your name. (RAINN’s hotline, for example, is 1-800-656-4673 or chat at rainn.org[16]; Love Is Respect can be reached at 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522[18][19].) These trained advocates can listen without judgment, help you make a safety plan, and connect you to local resources. Medical professionals can also help: in many places you have the right to a free, confidential exam after an assault and access to a counselor without needing parent permission[20]. If you ever feel in immediate danger, call emergency services. Always remember: you are not alone and you deserve respect and help. Your body and choices are yours – “you never owe anyone sex”[6] – and there are people and organizations ready to support you, no matter your background or situation.
Trusted resources on adolescent sexual health and safety were used in this article. Information is drawn from medical and educational authorities, including the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists[21], pediatric health experts[5], and nonprofit teen support organizations[1][17]. These sources emphasize consent, boundary-setting, and accessing confidential help.
Sources
[5] Helping Teens Make Choices About Sex: Parent Tips - HealthyChildren.org
[7] [9] 5 teen relationship red flags - Children's Mercy
https://www.childrensmercy.org/parent-ish/2025/02/relationship-red-flags/
[17] [18] [19] What to expect when you contact us - love is respect
https://www.loveisrespect.org/what-to-expect-when-you-contact-us/
[21] Adolescent Reproductive and Sexual Coercion: Measurement Invariance in a Population-Based Sample of Male and Female High School Students