Staying Safe from Online Sexual Messages

Staying Safe from Online Sexual Messages
and Grooming

In today’s digital world, teenagers often face unwanted sexual messages or pressures online. Learning how to handle these situations safely is vital. This guide explains how to recognize grooming and manipulation, deal with unsolicited sexual content, respond to pressure for nude images, practice safe behavior on social media, and know when to block and report others’ behavior. Each section provides tips backed by research and expert advice to help you set healthy boundaries and protect yourself online.

Recognising Grooming and Manipulation

What is grooming? Grooming is a manipulative process where someone builds a relationship with a younger person to gain their trust and power over them, usually as preparation for sexual abuse[1]. It can happen online or offline – sometimes the groomer is a stranger, but it could also be someone the victim knows (even a friend, family member, or another trusted person)[2]. Groomers often make their behavior seem caring or normal at first, so it’s not always easy to spot. Alarmingly, grooming is common in abuse cases – some estimates suggest about half of child sexual abuse involves a grooming process[3]. The key is to recognize the warning signs of grooming early so you can protect yourself.

If you notice someone online doing several of these things, trust your instincts. These behaviors are red flags for grooming and manipulation. Groomers often make you feel guilty or obligated, but remember: no one should ever force or guilt you into sexual behavior or keeping secrets. If it feels “off” or too good to be true, it probably is.

Online safety experts highlight key steps for dealing with potential grooming situations: recognize red flags (like gifts, secrecy, or sexual pressure), protect yourself by setting firm boundaries or cutting off contact, and seek support from someone you trust. Your safety and comfort come first, always.

Common grooming tactics: Predators use various tricks to manipulate teens online. Be on the lookout if an online contact does any of the following[4]:

Excessive flattery or attention: They shower you with compliments and romantic messages to make you feel special.
Pretending to be a peer: They claim to be your age or share your interests, even if it’s not true. They might say they live nearby or even lie about having mutual friends to seem trustworthy.
Inconsistent or secretive behavior: Their stories don’t match up – for example, they say things that don’t fit their claimed age or background. They ask a lot of personal questions about you but reveal very little about themselves. They may also ask you to keep your relationship secret or push to move your chats to private platforms.
Escalating to sexual content: They might send you sexual images you didn’t ask for or gradually introduce sexual topics. Eventually, they may pressure you to send nude photos or videos of yourself.

Handling Unwanted Sexual Messages

Many teens receive unwanted sexual messages, images, or “sexts” online – and it’s never your fault if this happens to you. Studies show that about 1 in 9 young people have been sent unwanted sexual requests or content online[5]. Unsolicited sexual messages can be anything from explicit photos to sexual comments in chats. Here’s how to handle them safely and assertively:

Do not engage further: If a message or image makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to respond. You might choose to ignore the person or tell them once, clearly and calmly, that their message is unwelcome. You are never obligated to participate in sexual conversations that make you uneasy.
Set a clear boundary: If the sender is someone you know (for example, a peer from school), it can help to say something like, “I don’t want these kinds of messages. Please stop.” This puts your boundary on record[6]. A respectful person will apologize and stop.
Recognize harassment: If you tell someone to stop and they keep sending sexual messages anyway, it becomes sexual harassment[7]. No one has the right to keep pushing your boundaries once you’ve said no. At that point, you should immediately consider blocking them (more on blocking in a later section). Save copies or screenshots of the messages if you feel up to it – having evidence can be useful if you need to report the behavior[8].
Tell a trusted adult: It might feel awkward, but reach out to a parent, teacher, counselor or other trusted adult if someone is sending you explicit material, especially if the person is older than you or if the messages are threatening. Getting adult support is important – you won’t get in trouble for speaking up about harassment. In fact, experts say involving a safe adult is critical when facing sexual exploitation or harassment online[9]. They can help you report the user to the platform or even to law enforcement if needed.

Above all, remember that you did nothing wrong. The person who sent the unwanted sexual content is responsible for their behavior. You have every right to remove yourself from the conversation and seek help. By establishing your boundaries and using the tools available (block, report, etc.), you are taking control of the situation and protecting your well-being.

How to Respond to Pressure for Nudes

Being asked or pressured to send nude photos (or “nudes”) is a situation many teens dread. Whether it’s an online acquaintance or even someone you’re dating, no one should pressure you into sharing intimate images. If someone truly cares about you, they will respect your boundaries – not push them. In fact, one safety guide bluntly states that “any person pressuring you to sext isn’t someone you should trust,” and it warns that once a nude photo is sent, it can “stay around forever” beyond your control[10]. In other words, the request itself is a huge red flag about that person’s respect for you.

It may help to know that you’re not alone in saying no. Despite what you might hear, not “everybody” is sending nudes. Research shows that most teens are not engaged in sexting (sharing nude images)[11]. So you have no reason to feel “uncool” or obligated to do it. If someone says “If you loved me, you’d send me a pic,” recognize this as manipulation. You do not owe anyone nude photos or sexual favors, no matter what your relationship is. A true friend or partner will understand and drop the issue if you say you’re not comfortable.

What if you’re threatened or blackmailed? Sadly, some predators (or even peers) may threaten to spread a private photo you’ve already shared, or say they’ll “tell everyone” unless you send more. This is called blackmail or sextortion, and it is not okay. For example, a blackmailer might say they will post a nude you sent unless you do as they ask – this is a crime, and it’s very serious[12]. Do not give in to further demands; instead, stop responding and seek help immediately. Save any threatening messages and show them to a trusted adult. In many places, what the blackmailer is doing is highly illegal. Sharing or possessing sexual images of a minor (under 18) is against the law in most jurisdictions, even if a minor took the photo themselves[13]. So if someone is pressuring you to create or send nudes, they are literally asking you to break child-protection laws. This underscores that the problem is their request – not you.

How to say no and get out of the situation: Be firm and direct when rejecting requests for nudes. You could write, “I’m not sending photos like that,” or simply, “No, I’m not comfortable with this.” You don’t need to apologize or debate. If the person persists, end the conversation. Depending on who it is, you might block them (if it’s an online stranger or someone who refuses to respect your no). If it’s a person you know in real life, consider also telling a parent or school counselor about the pressure you’re experiencing – especially if the person is older or in a position of authority. Remember, anyone who responds to your “no” with anger, threats, or guilt-trips is in the wrong. By standing your ground, you are protecting yourself from harm. Nothing about refusing to send nudes is rude or “prudish” – it’s smart and safe.

Safe Behaviour on Social Platforms

Using social media and messaging apps is a normal part of teen life, but it’s important to stay in control of who can reach you and what they see about you. Here are some smart habits for safer online interactions:

Use privacy settings: Set your profiles to private so that only friends (people you actually know and trust) can see what you post. Most apps allow you to make your account private or limit who can view your content. Also, be cautious about accepting friend or follow requests from people you don’t know in real life[14]. It’s okay to ignore or decline requests from strangers.
Limit personal information: Avoid sharing sensitive personal details publicly. Don’t post things like your home address, phone number, school name, or daily routines where anyone can see. Even seemingly small details (like your pet’s name or your birthday) can be used by someone with bad intentions. Think twice before you share photos or videos that could identify where you live or hang out[15]. It’s best to keep identifying information to private messages with people you trust (if at all).
Be mindful of photos and videos: Once you put a photo online, you lose control over it. It can be saved, shared, or screenshot by others. Never post or send images that you wouldn’t be okay with everyone seeing, because there’s always a risk they get forwarded beyond the intended audience. This is especially true for any intimate or revealing images. In fact, it’s safest to avoid taking or sending any nude/sexual photos altogether, since even private images can leak. And never engage in sexual acts on webcam with someone you haven’t met in person (or don’t fully trust) – predators have been known to record or screenshot live video chats[16]. Keep video chats to just talking or doing safe activities.
Control interactions: Most social platforms have tools to help manage who contacts you. For example, you can often disable direct messages from strangers, or make it so only friends can message you[17]. Use these features. If an app has an option to approve tags or mentions before they appear on your profile, turn that on. Regularly review your friends or followers list and remove people who you don’t really talk to or who make you uncomfortable. By pruning your online connections to just people you trust, you reduce the chances of encountering abuse.
Stay alert and critical: Finally, use healthy skepticism online. Not everything or everyone is as they seem. Be wary of links people send you out of the blue – they could lead to explicit content or be scams. If someone you only know online starts asking very personal questions or talking about sex, remember that you don’t have to answer. You can stop responding or block them. Listening to your gut is a key part of safe behavior: if any interaction starts to feel wrong or unsafe, you have the right to step away (and to block/report as needed, which we’ll discuss next).

Practicing these habits will make your online experience safer. You’ll have more control over your digital life and be less likely to encounter unwanted surprises. Safe social media use isn’t about avoiding all fun – it’s about setting boundaries that keep the fun from turning into harm.

Knowing When to Block and Report

One of the most powerful safety tools you have on any platform is the “Block” and “Report” feature. But how do you know when it’s time to use them? The short answer: as soon as someone makes you feel unsafe, threatened, or violates your boundaries, you should consider blocking and reporting. Here are some specific situations when you should definitely block/report another user:

Unwanted sexual advances or content: If anyone sends you explicit sexual messages or images that you did not ask for, block them immediately. You don’t need to tolerate that. All major apps allow you to block senders – this prevents them from contacting you again. Also, use the platform’s “Report” function to report the user or the message for sexual harassment or inappropriate content[8]. Reporting is usually anonymous and helps the app administrators take action against the offender.
Repeated harassment or boundary crossing: If you’ve told someone to stop contacting you or to stop sending certain content and they ignore you, that’s harassment. For example, maybe you said you’re not interested in sexual chat, but the person keeps pushing. At this point, don’t wait – block them and report the behavior. Experts note that when unwanted behavior continues or feels “inappropriate,” you should block the user and file a report[18]. You owe no further explanations to someone who won’t respect “no.”
Feeling unsafe or threatened: The moment an interaction online makes you feel scared for your safety or someone starts threatening you (e.g. “I’ll hurt you” or “I’ll spread your pics”), end all contact. Save any threatening messages or evidence (screenshots are helpful) and then block the person[8]. In your report to the platform, include that they threatened you. If the threat is serious (like violence or extortion), involve an adult and consider reporting to the police as well. Your safety is the priority, and threats are never okay.
Suspected grooming or catfishing: If you suspect that an online “friend” is actually an adult lying about their identity – for instance, they won’t video chat or their stories don’t add up – you should cut off contact. Groomers often try to move conversations off monitored platforms, ask you to keep secrets, or get sexual[19][20]. If you notice these signs, block and report the user for suspicious behavior. Even if you’re not 100% sure, it’s better to be safe. Platforms can investigate once you report.

How to report effectively: When you report someone on a platform, you usually have the option to include evidence or select categories (like “harassment” or “sexual content”). Be honest and provide as much detail as you feel comfortable with. Attach screenshots or messages as evidence if the reporting form allows (having those screenshots saved is useful here)[21]. The more clearly you explain the issue, the easier it is for moderators or authorities to understand what happened. After reporting, the platform may block the person on your behalf, but if not, you should block them manually.

Get support after blocking/reporting: Blocking and reporting can feel empowering, but it can also be emotionally upsetting to deal with these situations. So, don’t hesitate to talk to someone you trust after you’ve blocked a harasser or predator. Let a parent, guardian, teacher, or counselor know what happened. Not only can they provide emotional support, they can also help you take further steps if necessary (like contacting police or school officials). Remember what online safety organizations emphasize: you do not have to handle this alone[22]. There are adults and professionals who will believe you and help you. If one adult doesn’t listen, find another – your voice matters. Reporting isn’t just about protecting yourself; you might also be preventing that person from harassing others.

In summary, trust yourself and use the tools available. Blocking someone is not rude – it’s a digital self-defense. Reporting someone is not “overreacting” – it’s responsible and often the right thing to do. By blocking and reporting, you take away the harasser’s power and take back control of your online space. You deserve to feel safe online, just as you do offline. If at any point you feel unsafe, do not second-guess yourself: block, report, and reach out for help.

References

National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). (n.d.). Grooming: recognising the signs. NSPCC Learning. Retrieved November 26, 2025, from https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/safeguarding-child-protection/grooming
Loveisrespect. (n.d.). Signs of grooming in teens and young adults. Retrieved November 26, 2025, from https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/signs-of-grooming/
Sifferlin, A. (2018, June 12). Here’s how many young people are seeing unwanted sexual content online. Time. https://time.com/5308162/unwanted-online-sex-content/
Kids Help Phone. (2025). Sexting basics: How to stay safe. Kids Help Phone. Retrieved November 26, 2025, from https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/sexting-basics-how-stay-safe/
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). (2019). Talking to teens about sexting [Tip sheet]. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Retrieved from https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/netsmartz/downloadable/tipsheets/Talking%20to%20Teens%20About%20Sexting.pdf
Lordi, D. (n.d.). How to talk about social media safety with your teen. Duly Health and Care. Retrieved November 26, 2025, from https://www.dulyhealthandcare.com/health-topic/social-media-safety-for-kids-and-teens
Digital for Life. (2025, October 22). Online grooming. Digital for Life (Singapore). Retrieved November 26, 2025, from https://www.digitalforlife.gov.sg/learn/resources/all-resources/online-grooming